Yesterday, through @alyonashmelev (whom I adore) I discovered a video on Dazed (below). I felt quite inspired to share my experience as a kid of the IG generation, but my FB post turned into an essay, so I’m doing it here.
My relationship with social media has gone through many phases. From indifferent in the beginning, to fascination when I started blogging, to obsession when my blog was at its top, to fatigue when people, brands and eventually myself started treating me like an object, to indifference again when I met Karlis who indirectly taught me how to care less about SM, to absolute loathing when I was working as a social media manager 9 hours a day + some more at home blogging, and now to more instrumental and pragmatic approach since I re-started blogging and making clothes. ‘Instrumental and pragmatic’ – Oh I wish that was 100% how I view and deal with SM now. It’s not.
It’s been 6 years since I started blogging. It’s long enough for me to have developed a love/hate relationship. Even if I try to deny it to myself, there will always be a small part of me, which cares deeply about what happens on my SM. Is it because my professional life is happening here? Idk. Somehow that would be too simplistic. Is it because my professional and personal life are so intertwined? “To be a good and successful blogger one MUST share their personal stuff – the more personal the better” – haha, right? People and businesses can no longer get away with just selling stuff. Everything must be authentic, storytelling bullshit, yada yada, selling experience instead of product, native advertising, blah blah… These are just new way to sell. After all, SM is a bunch of algorythms, behind which are people after only one thing – your money. Ultimately generating lots of new new mental health problems.
What’s my real ongoing battle with (YES STILL!) is self-confidence and the constant comparing to others on social media. The only thing I can note for sure is that as I get older (tomorrow is my 27th b-day, haha) the more I’m able to control to what extent what I see on social media gets to me. Most of the time I’m confident and happy enough with myself and what I do rn to let it roll off me like “water off a duck’s back.” 🙂 I just wish it had been easier to get here.
However, again it doesn’t roll off 100% of the time and I still have really shit experiences. To illustrate: The other day I woke up and started browsing my IG feed. Idk, why but I ended up spending about 30 minutes doing this. Right after I woke up, still in bed. I wondered off to my explore page and tapped frantically through many profiles of either extremely beautiful, or interesting, or creative – actually all of the above – ladies. I had to stop, it was overwhelming. I might have been PMSing, but whatever. I got up, looked in the mirror and from then on my whole day was SHIT! I was thinking about it constantly, about what I saw, about how I’m never gonna be that, how I shouldn’t even bother doing my own thing, cause my own thing is not good enough. Is it just me?
I adore anybody and everybody who makes use of social media for subverting social and cultural constructs or chipping away the credibility of this oppressive patriarchal system. I adore anybody and everybody who makes use of social media to make a change, criticise the status quo in an open and meaningful way. We should celebrate all the people who took to social media to share their lived experiences, for example in the #metoo campaign. We should look up to women like Arvida Byström, Rupi Kaur and Molly Soda, who are brave enough to express themselves uncensored on SM (yep, I think it’s brave to be yourself on SM – damn, how did we get here?). Thank f*ck for these inspiring women! <3 And @alexwortex69 4ever!